HOPE is the Driving Force

With only 11 days left until my departure for Malawi, I can't even begin to describe the millions of emotions inside of me right now. It's quite strange actually-all of the conflicting feelings pulling me in different directions all while I'm trying my hardest to center myself more than I ever have in my entire life. It's completely exhausting, and I haven't even boarded the plane yet. I'm so excited because I've wanted to work in Africa since I was a little girl. Yet I'm so scared that I will not be able to help as much as I would like. I'm so happy that my life-long dream is coming true. Yet I'm so sad that I'm going to have to look into the eyes of all the Malawian children and leave them all in August, knowing that I can't make all their dreams come true as well. I've bought the appropriate clothing, electrical outlet adapters, headlamps, etc. so I appear to be ready for this adventure. However, I feel more frazzled and out of control with each passing day.

A couple months ago, I went out to lunch with one of my best friends from college, who came to the University of Arkansas from Nigeria. I told him about my upcoming adventure, and he continually warned me about my desire for impact versus the reality of the situation in most African countries. He told me that I need to spend some time mentally preparing myself for the fact that I will not be able to change all that I want to change and help every single child I want to help, and that this alone will be the most frustrating feeling of all! As a result, I've been grappling with this truth for the past month or two, and I really haven't been able to shake this weight off of my shoulders. Fortunately, a couple days ago, I discussed these concerns with one of my classmates at the Clinton School who helped me make sense out of my deepest passions and rediscover my purpose for dedicating my life to service.

Earlier this year, a certain speaker in our Communication class helped me define my three deepest values in life--freedom, compassion, and hope! These values guide all of my daily decisions, and they are what has led me to serve others my entire life. I thought I understood these three values completely, but my colleague at the Clinton School helped redefine "HOPE" for me. In 11 days, I will leave all of my family and friends and everything else that is comfortable, easy, and glamorous about living in the United States of America...and I will board a plane for one of the 12 poorest countries in the entire world. I will dedicate myself for almost 2 and a half months to helping lift the Malawian people as much as I possibly can.

Even if I fail miserably in my mission...all of the Malawian people (especially the children) will see that someone they do not know, from a small town and a small state very far away...cares so incredibly much about them that she was willing to make the sacrifice that she did to try to help. This realization that people outside of their family and closest friends care that much about their well-being will inevitably create hope in the hearts of those beautiful people! Hope is not created through impact measurements, or bricks laid, or negative test results...hope is created by the most rare, and the most raw, human connection of all--people reaching out to people, driven by compassion and sincerity, simply to show that they care. And that is exactly what I'm doing this summer. Now that I have stumbled upon this gem of truth, I know I will succeed and make a real difference in the lives of the Malawian people. No, I will not be able to measure the impact that I have while I'm there. But...as the young children grow up, and experience tough times, maybe...just maybe...more of them will not give up...more of them will have confidence and pride...more of them will be driven to serve the people that need them the most! I will leave Malawi on August 10, trusting that these things will happen...thank you MG!!!

Freedom, compassion, and hope lead me to serve everyday, but this summer...HOPE is the driving force!!!